Relationships – Mindfulness Day 27

Travel, Family, Contour, Shadow, ManWith whom do you choose to spend your time? Think of the four or five people who are the most frequent players in your life. Are they family, friends, or co-workers? How is it that you spend time with these people? Do you choose the time you spend with them? How do they influence your life? Who are you when you are with them?

The relationships we create with others are a huge part of who we are in the world. I suppose that it why therapists so often look at those primary relationships we had or have with our parents, when we were learning how to be in the world. If I am counselling someone in regards to a relationship, I find there can be a tendency to blame or credit the other person for their influence. This perspective can lead to a sense of helplessness as the person waits for the other person to change, or relies on that person to maintain their current state. In order to empower the person who is assessing that relationship, I will often direct their attention toward their own behaviours and reaction patterns within the relationship. It is their behaviours over which they have control and where they have the power to influence the dynamics of the relationship.

People, Sitting, Chairs, In FrontDay 27: Be mindful of the primary relationships in your life. As you think of these four or five people who have such a influential role in your life, think about who you are when you are with them. Do you like who you are? How do you choose your behaviours differently when you are with these people? To which of their behviours are you drawn and why? How does the relationship benefit you? Be mindful of who you are in relationship.

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